we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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