Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
