can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
