fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
