They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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