Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
