Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
