Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
