Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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