Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
