I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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