she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
