Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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