She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize