On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize