what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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