I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
