it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
