Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize