dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
