so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
