He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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