First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
