You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
