Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
