Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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