When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
