the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Im part way to drunk.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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