i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
