If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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