I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she told me i tasted like america
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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