no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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