So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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