I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
