Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
