More tranny stories later!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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