I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
