Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize