i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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