Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize