I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize