I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
