I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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