You're my little dorito
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
