we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
