4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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