A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
