He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
