i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
