you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
