Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
