i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
