Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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