saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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