That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
