Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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