I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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