it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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