The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
